Sunday, June 29, 2008

Some neighbours do have them!

What would you do in a situation like this?

The time is 4am in the morning. Every normal human being is excepted to be indoors at this time (indoors here includes homes, club, church etc). I included the church and the club because so long as you are not roaming the streets at this unholy hour, that's fine. However, where an individual who has gone clubbing choose to go back to his apartment at such a time, it is expected that he/she would enter his house without disturbing the peace of the sleeping neighbours with NOISE!

That is not the case for "One Dresser" (all his clothes are similar, hence the name)

One Dresser occupies an apartment in the compound where I live. He is an old confirmed bachelor who has vowed to remain a bachelor. Since he moved into his apartment, One Dresser has ALWAYS returned to his apartment at odd times between the hours of 2am to 4am! On a daily basis. He usually returns with his cronies and you can only imagine the level of disturbance he metes out to us daily. Most times after he enters his apartment, the party continues and the sound system and/or TV set is usually set so high that even a deaf person can hear! Chei! How am I expected to sleep at this rate? We have talked to him as civily as possible, we have even threatened to report him to the Police ... for where... the guy no just send us o! The truth is that I don set plenty trap for am, but Hubby say make I just maintain! What can I do? On one fateful day he drove into the compound at exactly 2.30am and as expected the noise maker just kept ranting with his loud ugly voice. Just then there was a blackout (PHCN decided to hold the power at that time). You won't believe it but the guy man called Hubby to ask for petrol because he needed to run his generating set! Can you imagine?!! The guy just does not have sense. Anyway, common sense is not common after all! If he were a sensible person he should have known not to call any body at such an unholy time! Haba!

There are times he parks behind our car and of course getting him down to move his car is always a task! He actually takes his time! One day I'll deflate his tyres and damn the consequences jo! Patapata I go enter bus go work that day (that is not strange). One Saturday I was ready to go out so I sent my girl to call him down to move his car. After 5 minutes he still did not come down! I marched up and I BANGED very hard on his door! Opportunity to talk finally came, and you can trust me I let it out . . . "my friend come and move your car out jare. If you had parked well I would not have come to call you . . . is it my fault that you come in late always . . ."

O! I almost forgot. He carries them in different shapes, sizes, colours and beliefs! One early morning I overheard the following conversation:

Girl: Wey my money? I wan go.
I did not hear any reply from One Dresser.
Girl: Wetin you mean? I hope say na joke O. If you no pay me now now I go shout make every body hear o!
At this point in order to do my tatafo well I had to shift to another room! I missed some gist in the process. . .
One Dresser: When you decided to follow me I told you I will pay N2000. Why did you agree?
Girl: That na for 1 round. How many you do? Abeg pay me jo! Yeye man . . .

I wonder . . . is it that this guy no fit toast babe or he just no be am? He does not have a girlfriend, at least I have not seen him with any fixed babe! I think he needs serious prayers!

Now back to the koko. This guy is a societal nuisance! How do I handle him and his likes?


LG said...

babes,they r everywhere o n nomata werrin u do, dem no go send u, so just avoid wahala n do ur thing.

chei!!!! babes, *oya chop knucle* lollllllllll
e be like say me and u get d same tatafo spirit o, lolllll
but u nor finish d gist, so how much 'one dresser' come pay d babe na??? or him come borrow money from u???


Dee! said...

Lg u no biam! Somehow I just dey hear the gist no be say I dey do tatafo. lolllllll! My sista how I for do?

I dey hope say the guy go repent. . . for where hin no gree change.

Enjoy your weekend dearie!

tobenna said...

This is hilarious.
I can't help oh, because I've been that man on a few occasions. Not with the prostitutes oh! Except that I try not to disturb my neighbours except the gateman whom I give extra dough.
Anyways, the guy is crazy.
I hope your hubby did not give him fuel that night.

Anonymous said...

In my own view, one dresser ought to be castrated, since he can't stick to one babe.

He may think he is having fun now, but the joke will be on him when he starts to look haggard.

Some guys really suck.

Dee! said...

Tobenna: Please don't compare yourself to that guy o! Thank God you are not "one dresser" and by the grace of God you will NEVER be him! Tufia! lol!
Even if hubby intended to give the fuel I will personally REFUSE! Imagine the guy disturbing us at that time of the day! You know na. lol.

Anonymous: You mean O! If one dresser is castrated, he'll . . . And I agree, some guy suck!

Anonymous said...

"...the guy man called Hubby to ask for petrol..." hmmm, guess he was trying to be neighbourly.

Dee! said...

Rethots: Don't mind the guy jare! Like I said, some neighbours do have them.

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