I am the Diokpa!

My hubby is from the Ibo speaking part of Delta State, Nigeria. In that part of the Country, every first male child in any family is referred to as the "Diokpa". In the simple terms, the Diopka is the head of the Family.

Recently, Tee was in one of his whining moods and I was just NOT in the mood to pet him. Instead, I chose to have a "chat" with him. In the course of the chat, I explained to him that he is almost 6 years old, and therefore, he is a big boy. I added that as a "big boy" he is not permitted to whine any more! I added that as the first son, he is the Diokpa of the family, and Diokpas don't whine or cry! That was it o! Now, he tries to comport himself as a "Diokpa". Whenever I notice he is about to change gear into one of his whining moods, I just simply say "It's a shame that the Diopka is about to whine!" Immediately, he'll switch to a better and acceptable mood!

One day, he was trying to assert his Diokpa right on Gee. He said to her "since I am the Diokpa, I am in charge of the house . . ." Gee immediately, retorted saying, "well, I am the FIRST child of this family and I AM in charge, so you must respect my views." When he asked me to say something on the issue, I said, "Gee is right. You have to respect her as the Ada of the family" I explained that an "Ada" is the first daughter of every family! At least, that settled it.

Too much TV!

I am seriously contemplating placing a ban on television watching in my house! My children are getting too addicted to the television and I am getting worried!

Back in the days, as a child, I did not have all that luxury. In fact, the first television we had was that type that looked like a cupboard with a fitted lock! Those days we were at the mercy of NTA! Only NTA! The television programs commenced at 4pm and terminates by mid night! Out of that eight hours, children watch their programs for 2 hours, and after that no more till the next day!

I remember that some days we'll sit in front of the television just before 4pm and start counting down. As soon as it's 4pm, the National Anthem is played and thereafter the presenter starts to read out the progammes scheduled for the day. We had some quality programmes back then! Although the quality of the programmes back then can not be compared to what is obtainable now! I must say, there is a great difference. Now, there are a thousand and one children programmes on various television channels to watch, thanks to DSTV and other cable networks. The language used in most of these so called cartoons are not appropriate for children (my views).

I remember when I asked Gee not to watch a particular programme on TV. She asked to know why and I told her that programme is for teenagers only. Then she said, "I can't wait to be a teenager". I looked at her with this surprise look and I said "well my dear you have to wait till you are a teenager. Even at that, I'll suggest you watch what you watch!"

My people, na so I see am o!

How Not to Treat Your Domestic Staff!

A domestic staff is anyone employed in a home to provide certain services as cooks, drivers, gardeners, nanny, maids, housekeepers etc. The most common of these domestic staff is a maid/house helps. In most households, the maids perform ALL the chores.

After my Gee was born, I remember telling myself that I would stay back to tend to her properly. I did not want to leave her in the care of any nanny/maid/creche. My reason was based on the negative stories I have been hearing about maids! Well, I did not stay at home. I resumed four months after. I was "fortunate" to have a maid just before I went back to work. I spent about a month studying her and putting her through. I gave her my ground rules and I added that we'll be great friends if she behaves. She stayed with me for about two years and all those years, we live together in peace like sisters. I never raised my voice at her because she never gave me the opportunity to. She once told me that I am different from all the other madams she's had in the past. I asked to know why she said that and she narrated how other madams had been mean to her. She said, most times, she goes without food! I was shocked!

How can a sane woman starve her domestic staff and yet expect such a staff to perform well? I mean, that is preposterous! As a general rule, I would suggest that mothers who have maids looking after their kids should ensure that their maids are treated well! If you treat your maids in a bad way, your children would not be treated well by the maid! It is just common logic!

I have heard  of some women who give their maids food once a day. I have also heard of people who give their maids soured foods. I have seen some maids with various scares on their bodies, as a result of the beatings they receive from their madams. I have even seen a girl with a scare caused by a hot iron placed on her by her madam!

Some guidelines on how to treat domestic staff in your employ:
1. See them as human beings!
2. Treat them like you would treat your own children, siblings and relatives!
3. Feed them well so they would have strength to perform the chores!
4. Buy them nice clothes so they would be presentable in the public!
5. Interact with them. That way, you will know how they feel about you!
6. Encourage them to become better citizens in future!
 
A maid is a human being just like you!

Sleep in your room!

Drama in the house. . .

Getting my children, to actually sleep in their room is a very difficult task! Gee! and Tee! do not like sleeping in their room! I have tried all the tricks in the book, they still find their way into our room at night! Most times hubby actually 'chase' them to their room with a promise that he'll take them out if they (Gee! and Tee!) remain in their room all through the night, without sneaking into our room. Although they usually promise not to come to our room, they always find a way to break their promise! Usually, whenever hubby enters the room and sees all four of us (including Little Dee!) on the bed, he ends up in the guest room. Sometimes he carries them to their room, that way he can sleep in his bed! lol!

This had been the routine until recently when I stood my ground! Haba! For how long will this continue. Gee! is almost 8 years old while Tee! is already 5 years old.

I had a meeting with them. Yes o! In that meeting I told them clearly and sweetly that they were no longer babies and as such I would appreciate it if they start to SLEEP in their room especially at night! After so many questions and answers, they promised to sleep in their room from that day!

Well, that was the deal, and I thought to myself, they would not breach their part of the agreement.

How wrong! It was a few minutes past 11pm when I heard a door opening (I knew it had to be the children's room) and then footsteps. The next thing I heard was my own room door opening and 'someone' sneaking into my bed! I knew immediately it has to be Gee! She was followed almost immediately by Tee!.

I simply reminded them of our meeting and mutual agreement. Then in a very 'sweet' voice, I sent them back to their room.

Mehn! we need our room.

From that day, any time they 'attempt' sneaking into our room, I send them back. Right now, I can proudly boast that WE have our room to ourselves (to a large extent at least). Only Little Dee! is permitted to sleep in our room for now. As soon as she is old enough (maybe 3 years old) she'll be moved to the children's room.

My Family!

I am a working Mother with three wonderful kids! I had introduced them in my other blog as Tee!, Gee! and Little Dee! I am married to my Hubby.

Gee! is the eldest of the three musketeers and she  is 7 years old. Tee!, the only boy is 4 years old. Little Dee! is 1 year old. There is another member of my family, E! She is our help, looking after Little Dee! while I am at work. My children call her Aunty E!

Gee! is a third grader. Tee! is in Nursery. Little Dee! is in Home School. LOL! Today, Tee! and Gee! resumed school and as such we left Little Dee! alone with E!. Little Dee! cried as we waved her bye. Gee! stopped to give her a kiss and promised that "when I return from school, we'll play, ok?". Big bros Tee! simply waved and told her to stop crying! As for me, I just gave her a big bear hug sealed with my usual kiss. Gosh!

While I am at work, I try to stay focused and leave my thoughts in a zip bag! I remember, some years ago, when Tee! was just a baby in Home School, while I was in Court waiting for my matter to be called, I got so carried away that when my case was called, I did not know! My colleague who was in Court with me had to nudge me to stand up and announce my appearance! Yeah! I was day dreaming!

The life of a working Mummy!